For those of you who have never noticed...there is a small pink cross on the side of I-70. Hundreds of people pass by it daily. Hundreds of people speed by on their way to basketball practices or school or work and they have no idea why the cross sits there. Then there are those that cannot keep from looking at it as they pass. There are those that cannot keep their eyes from shifting to that small marker as they drive around the corner.
I am one of those people. It is because of this marker that I didn't get my permit until I was almost sixteen. It is because of this marker that I cried for nights and doubted God's ability to hear my prayers. Because of a little pink cross on the side of I-70 I get scared when it's raining and I have to drive. I can't tell people this. Why is it that we are afraid to show emotion to other human beings? Why are we so afraid to be weak? It has been almost four years since Emily died. It's funny how I live my every day life and I forget that it happened..I forget that someone who was like my older sister left and went to Heaven. How can I forget but just as easily remember? Christmas Eve was the last time I ever saw Em...and it is this memory of her that I hold on to. This blog really has no moral or idea behind it. I'm just sitting here- remembering and wondering how different things would be if it hadn't been raining...and if this and if that. I'm sitting here wondering who I would be if I hadn't been forced to hold my best friend in my lap and say, "It's going to be ok...It's going to be ok..." knowing full well that it would never REALLY be OK.
If you're ever driving down Lebanon Road and see a little Pink Cross- know it has a story behind it...and wrap your mind around this one- There are hundreds of people that pass by that cross and don't know my story, but they have a story of their own. The person ringing up your groceries- the lady driving slowly in front of you on your way to the 5:00 showing of The Blind Side. They might have their own crosses in a ditch somewhere...and maybe...they're afraid to drive at night. We all have our Little Pink Crosses.
I am one of those people. It is because of this marker that I didn't get my permit until I was almost sixteen. It is because of this marker that I cried for nights and doubted God's ability to hear my prayers. Because of a little pink cross on the side of I-70 I get scared when it's raining and I have to drive. I can't tell people this. Why is it that we are afraid to show emotion to other human beings? Why are we so afraid to be weak? It has been almost four years since Emily died. It's funny how I live my every day life and I forget that it happened..I forget that someone who was like my older sister left and went to Heaven. How can I forget but just as easily remember? Christmas Eve was the last time I ever saw Em...and it is this memory of her that I hold on to. This blog really has no moral or idea behind it. I'm just sitting here- remembering and wondering how different things would be if it hadn't been raining...and if this and if that. I'm sitting here wondering who I would be if I hadn't been forced to hold my best friend in my lap and say, "It's going to be ok...It's going to be ok..." knowing full well that it would never REALLY be OK.
If you're ever driving down Lebanon Road and see a little Pink Cross- know it has a story behind it...and wrap your mind around this one- There are hundreds of people that pass by that cross and don't know my story, but they have a story of their own. The person ringing up your groceries- the lady driving slowly in front of you on your way to the 5:00 showing of The Blind Side. They might have their own crosses in a ditch somewhere...and maybe...they're afraid to drive at night. We all have our Little Pink Crosses.
*2004*
In the spirit of remembering...here are some photos that take me back. Emily took them of us (Bekah, her sister Molly, and myself) a few months before her wreck. I think they are a really good representation of who I was and who we were as friends.
