I am reflecting. I have, as of late been seriously considering the aspect of time in all of our lives.
I truly wonder what God had in mind when he created life. There is such a very fine line between being excessively busy- to the point of going through the motions of life- and being idle. Obviously I do not intend to be idle, for "idleness is the devil's workshop," but I also have no desire to continue living my every day life in such a way that I am physically, spiritually, and mentally exhausted and see no gain. I want to cherish my life. I want to live with all that is in me. I want to suck the marrow out of life.
Time passes quickly. This is such a cliche statement, however, one cannot deny its truth. And in the passing of seconds, minutes, and hours comes a change. I have always wanted to watch a flower bloom. You know, actually see the pedals open up and blossom into something beautiful. I think, however, God made a flower's bloom slow for a reason. We are so much like the flowers, in that our bloom is slow. We do not realize that we are undergoing a great metamorphosis until suddenly we have changed into this new person we never knew existed. We ask ourselves how we became this way, but we cannot point to one instance that shaped us or caused us to bloom. It was running around a yard talking to imaginary friends- hearing their voices and pretending you were someone else...and then one day not being able to hear the voices...and not liking who you were. It was a mixture of sunny days at the park watching highschool boys play Ultimate Frisbee. It was being too insecure to play yourself. It was learning that change is good and that if you take the wrong interstate exit, you can always turn around. It was getting bad grades on papers and beating yourself for it, but still not being able to remember the comma rules. The bloom came with the passing of laughter, tears, fears, and sorrows, hatred, anger, and love.
I have bloomed. I am very much the same little girl who would run around in mismatched outfits and make daisy chain crowns and mud "soup," but in the same thought- I am nothing like that girl. I have grown. I have lost friends to silly things. I have seen friends die, and then there have been those, who have alianated themselves to such an extent, that they have almost died to those around them. I have had girls lay in my arms and sob. I have put their burdens on my shoulders and carried them. I have also learned that I cannot carry them- that's Jesus's job...not mine.
Mostly, in my blooming process- I have become vulnerable.
If you notice a flower in bloom- It is open- revealing it's seeds- revealing the deepest part of itself- the part where it was first created. I am like a flower. Time continues to pass and with each day, I slowly open up. I wonder, if those around me notice that I'm in bloom.
I truly wonder what God had in mind when he created life. There is such a very fine line between being excessively busy- to the point of going through the motions of life- and being idle. Obviously I do not intend to be idle, for "idleness is the devil's workshop," but I also have no desire to continue living my every day life in such a way that I am physically, spiritually, and mentally exhausted and see no gain. I want to cherish my life. I want to live with all that is in me. I want to suck the marrow out of life.
Time passes quickly. This is such a cliche statement, however, one cannot deny its truth. And in the passing of seconds, minutes, and hours comes a change. I have always wanted to watch a flower bloom. You know, actually see the pedals open up and blossom into something beautiful. I think, however, God made a flower's bloom slow for a reason. We are so much like the flowers, in that our bloom is slow. We do not realize that we are undergoing a great metamorphosis until suddenly we have changed into this new person we never knew existed. We ask ourselves how we became this way, but we cannot point to one instance that shaped us or caused us to bloom. It was running around a yard talking to imaginary friends- hearing their voices and pretending you were someone else...and then one day not being able to hear the voices...and not liking who you were. It was a mixture of sunny days at the park watching highschool boys play Ultimate Frisbee. It was being too insecure to play yourself. It was learning that change is good and that if you take the wrong interstate exit, you can always turn around. It was getting bad grades on papers and beating yourself for it, but still not being able to remember the comma rules. The bloom came with the passing of laughter, tears, fears, and sorrows, hatred, anger, and love.
I have bloomed. I am very much the same little girl who would run around in mismatched outfits and make daisy chain crowns and mud "soup," but in the same thought- I am nothing like that girl. I have grown. I have lost friends to silly things. I have seen friends die, and then there have been those, who have alianated themselves to such an extent, that they have almost died to those around them. I have had girls lay in my arms and sob. I have put their burdens on my shoulders and carried them. I have also learned that I cannot carry them- that's Jesus's job...not mine.
Mostly, in my blooming process- I have become vulnerable.
If you notice a flower in bloom- It is open- revealing it's seeds- revealing the deepest part of itself- the part where it was first created. I am like a flower. Time continues to pass and with each day, I slowly open up. I wonder, if those around me notice that I'm in bloom.
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